I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
