if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
