idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm like, not good at living.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
