hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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