I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
