I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
