yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
