So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
