Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
