you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
