when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
