You can't motorboat a personality
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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