Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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