At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
