Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
