He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
