Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Randomize
