I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Fuck appropriateness.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize