he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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