I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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