Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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