What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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