i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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