i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Text me some of your sweat
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
