just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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