WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize