Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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