I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize