We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You need a sexual gate keeper
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
