Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize