i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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