The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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