I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
