Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
