This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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