Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
