Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
