Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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