Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My hand turned me down
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My feet surprised me
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize