help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Where is the hickey?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The air taste purple.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize