alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
