Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
