ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
