They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
