Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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