U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I am available for nakedness
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