Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize