just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
