question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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