Say something about gay babies.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
