ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
