I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
