me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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