this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
