I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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