So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
