She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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